


All Of You

by EmmaArthur



Series: Whumptober 2019 [1]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex Whump, Canon Disabled Character, Chronic Pain, Disability, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Season/Series 01, Sharing a Bed, Whumptober 2019, established malex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 01:16:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20845151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmaArthur/pseuds/EmmaArthur
Summary: Alex tries to work on a bad pain day. Michael doesn't let him.





	All Of You

**Author's Note:**

> I'm doing Whumptober 2019 with one fic a day of Alex whump.
> 
> Day 1 prompt is **Shaky Hands**. 
> 
> This is also the start of a post season 1 Established Malex series (All Of You) in which several of the other prompt fills will take place.

“Fuck,” Alex mutters under his breath, trying to focus. The computer's screen is too bright, too blurry. Alex tries to lower the luminosity, but he hits the wrong key again and it makes a _beep_, too loud. The file in front of him makes no sense.

These are simple lines of code, ones he should know by heart, but today reading them is beyond him. Alex switches windows, hating that he has to look down at the keyboard to make sure his disobedient fingers operate the shortcut properly.

The new window, a personal file of a Caulfield employee, isn't any better. The letters dance in front of Alex's eyes. He curses again, shifting in his seat, then bites down a moan as pain shoots up his leg. He doesn't quite manage to keep silent, letting out a sigh.

“Alex, what's wrong?” Michael asks from the kitchen area.

The cabin is too small for two people, Alex has discovered since Michael moved in. It was fine when it was just him, the proximity of everything allowing him to move around without his prosthetic easily, but now they just step on each other's toes. It doesn't help that the walls are anything but soundproof.

Michael isn't bothered by that, not yet. After nearly ten years of living in a trailer, it makes sense that he'd be used to small spaces. He tends to be outdoor more than Alex anyway, working at Sander's, so he doesn't feel cramped.

On days like this one, Alex feels like the walls of the cabin are closing in on him.

“Nothing,” he answers.

In a blink, Michael is behind him. Alex tenses, but he doesn't turn.

“You're in pain,” Michael states.

Alex shrugs, still staring at his computer screen−not that he can read what's on it. “Just a bad day,” he says.

“You're supposed to take those off. You said you were fine this morning.”

“I'm fine,” Alex says.

“Alex, you're shaking,” Michael notices, concern rising in his voice. “Have you at least taken your painkillers?”

“They make me fuzzy.”

“That's the point. They're supposed to take the pain away.”

“I need to work,” Alex turns his desk chair to face Michael. The cat's out of the bag, now, there's no point in pretending he's not white as a sheet and trembling.

“No, you need to rest,” Michael says. “Work can wait.”

“It's important.”

“Caulfield again? Alex, I know you want to protect us, but you can't do it at the cost of your health.”

Alex looks away.

“I'm serious,” Michael says. “_You_ are more important than the work.”

“Michael, we could find more aliens, or information about who you are! Or worse, the weapon that Flint hinted at. We have to get ahead of them!” Alex hates the edge of desperation that slides into his voice, but he's too tired to squash it down. They've been at a standstill for months, the information they got from Caulfield nearly useless. Alex is starting to think that the bomb Flint talked about is so well hidden that they won't find it before it's too late.

“And killing yourself isn't going to help, Alex! I can't watch you keep going like this, okay? Since you were discharged, you've been spending your time in front of this computer, day and night, and you're not taking care of yourself. You're gonna crash.”

“I just need a little more time,” Alex pleads, almost against himself. He's not quite tired enough to miss how hollow and ridiculous he sounds.

Michael shakes his head. “You're going back to bed,” he says. “Now.”

“Oh, you're giving me orders now?”

“That was just a request, because I'm your boyfriend, not your boss. CO. Whatever. But you're going to do it, because you love me.”

“Um,” Alex pretends to think, but he's too wound up to turn this into banter. “Fine. For now.”

Michael doesn't even have the decency to look victorious, frowning in worry instead as Alex grabs his crutches. He didn't bother to put on his prosthetic this morning, as he had no intention of getting out of the house.

He may have conveniently forgotten to inform Michael that the real reason for that, or for Michael having been the one to ride to town for groceries the last few days, is that Alex doesn't think he could walk if he tried. The pain comes and goes, usually worse after he's spent too long on his feet, but this week it just isn't _going._

He makes his way back to the bedroom, gritting his teeth, and works on removing his jeans. If he's going to spend the rest of the day in bed, he might as well get comfortable.

Michael follows closely, watching him. It makes Alex's skin crawl, to be observed this way, but he also can't help the fondness, and the amazement that someone even cares about him enough to force him to rest.

“Here,” Michael says once Alex is sitting on the bed. He hands him his pills and a glass of water.

“Thanks,” Alex mutters, equal parts frustrated and relieved. He has to admit that being in pain gets really old.

“I don't have work today, so I'll come hang out with you in a minute, okay?”

Alex nods and gets under the covers, lying his head on his pillow with a sigh. The pain is the one thing about his disability that he'll never get used to. He can deal with the prosthetic and the crutches and people's looks, with having to take it slow in the stairs because he can't feel the foot he's stepping on and having to leave evening parties early because he's been standing up for too long. He's worked through the grueling rehab, and at least some of the PTSD, the part that comes from the explosion that took his leg anyway.

But the pain is harrowing. On bad days like today, it reduces his world to a haze, throbbing in his leg and shaky hands. He can't read, can't even watch TV for the most part, only hope that it will let up enough that he can fall asleep.

The painkillers start to take effect before Michael comes back, and Alex relaxes a little into the bed. Michael left the door open, so Alex can hear him moving in the kitchen. It's lunchtime, he realizes. He's spent the whole morning staring at this computer without reading a single word.

“Are you hungry?” Michael asks, walking in with a tray floating in front of him.

“Not really,” Alex answers honestly. “But I'll try to eat something.” Pain also makes his appetite go away, and the painkillers don't help with that part. But Michael has gone out of his way, once again, making what looks like a bean goulash and preparing it so that Alex can eat in bed. So Alex owes him to taste it, at least.

Michael keeps the tray floating as he gets into the bed, then he lowers it between them. “Here you go,” he hands Alex a bowl and a spoon. “I went easy on the spices in case your stomach is acting up.”

Alex feels a surge of love for this man who somehow, for a reason Alex can't fathom, cares about him deeply enough to stick around, even on days like this.

“Thank you,” he says.

“Why are you gaping?” Michael asks, when he looks up from the tray to see Alex staring at him, ignoring the bowl in his hands.

“Nothing,” Alex blushes. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby,” Michael smiles. He sits closer, until they're shoulder to shoulder. “I wish you wouldn't be so hard on your body. It's okay to need rest.”

Alex looks away and doesn't answer, instead picking at the goulash. He has to force it down, even though it tastes good, and he gives up halfway through the bowl. “I'll eat the rest later,” he decides.

Michael has already finished his own bowl, and he knows not to insist. “Okay. I'll heat it back up when you want it.”

“It's good,” Alex tries to reassure him.

“I know, don't worry.”

He doesn't deserve someone so good, Alex thinks again, as Michael floats the tray over to the table in a corner of the room and comes even closer, his arms open to cuddle together. Alex accepts it without protest, resting his head on Michael's forearm.

“I'm sorry I'm not better company,” he murmurs.

“Alex, can you please stop apologizing for being in pain?”

“You don't like it.” Alex knows he's being ridiculous even as he says it. Michael sighs audibly and turns to face him fully.

“Do I even have to answer that?” he asks. “Okay, I will because you're feeling miserable and you want to be comforted, but let it be on record that I think you know better.”

He waits to continue until Alex nods, averting his eyes. “Of _course_ I don't like you being in pain, Alex. What kind of monster would I be if I did? But you can't control it, and I would rather know and help than have you try to hide it from me. I want to be with you, okay? I want you, all of you. Bad days included.”

Alex's brain still has a hard time comprehending that, but he lets the wave of warmth coming straight from his heart wash over him. “I want you, too,” he murmurs, meeting Michael's beautiful eyes. “All of you.”

“Even when I'm a pain in the ass?” Michael smirks.

“At least it's a change from the pain in my leg,” Alex shrugs.

Michael straight up snorts, and they both burst out laughing. Alex takes a few deep breaths when it triggers another pain waves, but this time he has Michael to hold on to, and his hands are barely shaking now. Michael kisses his forehead when some of the tension leaves him, as the pain lets up. Alex settles his head into the crook of Michael's elbow, suddenly sleepy.

“Sleep tight,” Michael murmurs in his ear. “I'll be here when you wake up.”

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of hurt/comfort and fluff to warm me up for the month of whump, I hope you liked it! Please subscribe to either series if you want to be notified of the next fics, or find me on [Tumblr](https://theemmaarthur.tumblr.com/). I would love to hear your thoughts!


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